At a Glance
- Red is widely considered acceptable attire for wedding guests.
- TikTok users debate whether red signals a past lover or upstages the bride.
- Etiquette expert Elaine Swann confirms the rule is a myth, except in specific cultural contexts.
- Why it matters: Knowing what colors are appropriate helps guests feel confident and respectful.
Red weddings are a hot topic on social media, with many guests unsure whether wearing a bright hue is respectful or rebellious. The debate centers on a widely circulated rule that red should be avoided at weddings, but recent commentary from TikTok creators and an etiquette expert suggests the rule is largely unfounded.
The Red Debate
The idea that one should not wear red to a wedding has no basis in traditional etiquette. “Red denotes the color of love,” says etiquette expert Elaine Swann. She calls the rule an internet fable that has been repeated without evidence. While some people fear that a red dress might be interpreted as a signal of a past lover or an attempt to upstage the bride, Swann’s research indicates that this interpretation is a misconception.
What TikTok Users Are Saying
A video posted to the @meangirlpod TikTok account sparked the conversation. Podcast hosts Jordyn Woodruff and Alex Bennett debated the meaning behind the supposed rule.
- Woodruff: “I think it’s supposed to mean that you have been like a past lover of the groom, which I could totally be making up in my head, but I think it’s supposed to be like the scarlet letter, like the red A.”
- Bennett: “I was thinking you don’t wear red because it’s like a bold color and it could be perceived as upstaging the bride, but also so is pink and all of those colors.”
Another TikTok user, @katieaustin, posted a video of herself wearing a red dress at a wedding and captioned it: “POV it’s your 33rd wedding and you’re finally ditching the ‘you can’t wear red to a wedding’ etiquette myth.” Her video shows her confidently dancing in a bright red gown while the bride and groom look on.
Expert Insight
Swann’s comments are supported by a broader look at color symbolism in Western wedding culture. In the U.S., red is often associated with passion and romance, not with infidelity or disrespect. “Wear what looks great on you,” Swann advises.
However, Swann notes that there are exceptions. In some Asian cultures, particularly Indian and Chinese traditions, red is a prominent bridal color. In these contexts, wearing red could be seen as competing with the bride’s significance.
Cultural Exceptions
| Culture | Bridal Color | Guest Guidance |
|---|---|---|
| Indian | Red | Avoid wearing red; it is reserved for the bride |
| Chinese | Red | Avoid wearing red; it is reserved for the bride |
| Western (U.S.) | White | White is reserved for the bride, but can be worn if invited |
Swann also clarifies that the white rule is not absolute. “Any shades of white, that color is still reserved for the bride. However, white is acceptable when the bride and groom ask you to wear it,” she says.
White at Weddings
The rule against wearing white is well-established because the bride traditionally wears white to symbolize purity and new beginnings. Yet, etiquette experts allow flexibility when the couple explicitly requests guests to wear white. This exception is rare but respected when honored.
Practical Tips for Guests
- Check the invitation: Look for any color or dress code instructions.
- Ask the couple: If unsure, a quick text or call can clarify.
- Consider cultural context: If the bride is from a culture where red is a bridal color, avoid it.
- Choose a flattering shade: If you love red, opt for a muted or deep tone rather than a bright, eye-catching hue.
- Coordinate, don’t compete: Aim to complement the wedding’s color palette rather than dominate it.
Key Takeaways
- Red is generally acceptable attire for wedding guests in the U.S. and many Western cultures.
- The rule against red is a myth, according to etiquette expert Elaine Swann.
- Exceptions exist in cultures where red is a traditional bridal color, such as Indian and Chinese weddings.
- White remains reserved for the bride, but can be worn if the couple invites guests to do so.
- When in doubt, consult the invitation or the couple directly.
This story first appeared on TODAY.com. More from TODAY: When is Valentine’s Day 2026? Find Out the Date and Day of the Week, 101 Happy Valentine’s Day Quotes to Express What’s in Your Heart, 101 Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes That Are Heart to Resist.
